In this edition of the Life at FT Blog we speak to Lauren Palfrey who shares her story navigating mental health. Learn about her experiences and why sharing her journey is so important.

Could you please introduce yourself and provide an overview of your role within the FT?

My name is Lauren (she/her), and I’m an executive assistant to the chief commercial officer, Jon Slade, and his leadership team.

What inspired you to join the Mental Health ERG as a co-chair? 

I would have to say ‘who’ inspired me to join the ERG, and that would be Jon Slade, my manager and FT’s chief commercial officer.

I had a conversation with Jon about 4 months into my role where he asked about my personal objectives (something EA’s rarely get asked!). I mentioned that I would love to be more involved in mental health projects in the workplace. Coincidentally, eating disorders awareness week was coming up, and I suggested we send out some resources/information on this topic. Jon, being an advocate (and board sponsor) for mental health, provided support and encouragement to host a panel talk with BEAT UK, the eating disorder charity, for colleagues. I wasn’t planning on sharing my story, but it’s testament to the inclusive, open, and honest culture of the FT that I felt able to do so. 

It was a real challenge speaking openly about my struggles with anorexia and eating disorders, I felt like my face was going to explode with embarrassment. When people came up to me after the event sharing their own experiences and how they could relate, it made it all worth it. I hope we went a step closer to normalising conversations around mental health. A few months later the role of co-chair of the mental health ERG came up and I wanted to continue looking at how to support people at the FT with their mental health.

How do you navigate personal and work life while dealing with mental ill health and/or eating disorders?

Thankfully I have been on the right side of ‘recovered’ from anorexia for a while now, but naturally there are times of stress or anxiety when I need to consciously not resort to old behaviours. The desire to use these behaviours or coping mechanisms can be strong at times, so I tend to see food as medicine in these instances. For example, if I had a busy stressful working day I always make time to break for lunch,  and I’m open about moving things around to accommodate that. My family is a huge support and have taken this journey to recovery with me, so for instance at Christmas (a difficult time for anyone with an eating disorder), I have a Christmas dinner I can manage. It may not look the same as everyone else's, but to be able to sit with my family and eat is something I never thought I would do. I’m very lucky now that a lot of the time I derive great pleasure from food, looking forward to that Friday night takeaway! 

I have suffered from chronic depression since the age of 18, something which is common with eating disorders. This has been particularly hard to navigate over the years, especially after the birth of my son. As I’m sure many people do, I often wonder why simple daily tasks seem so much harder for me than they do for other people. This constant procrastination isn’t particularly helpful, so instead I look at what I can do to support my mental health, whether that be keeping routines, mindfulness, working in a positive environment, and spending time with my son. 

Reflecting on your personal experience, what were the biggest (or most unexpected) challenges you encountered? 

To be honest my entire adult life has been rather challenging. I spent the most part of a decade in and out of hospital, and missed out on a lot of experiences, like visits to the cinema, eating out with friends, etc. It’s really changed my perspective on life, and in a strange way has enabled me to enjoy things more now I’m in a better place. I’m more forgiving of myself and others, and grab all opportunities for happiness with both hands.  The most unexpected challenge for me personally was experiencing severe post natal depression after the birth of my son. It was a dream come true for me, so why couldn’t I get out of bed? This was scarier than anything I’ve previously experienced, and I still look for reasons to this day. I’ve learnt to accept that this is something that happened to me beyond my control, but I think we are all guilty of punishing ourselves!

What changes would you like to see in terms of mental health and eating disorders’ support?

I’m a big advocate for early intervention, not only for eating disorders but any form of mental ill health. Unfortunately by the time I received treatment I had built up almost  a religion of routines/rituals/beliefs that seemed  impossible to shake. When I was diagnosed 20 years ago, the resources and knowledge just weren't there. This is partly why I speak up about my illness. If we can normalise the conversations and enable people to feel more comfortable in seeking help, the journey to recovery can hopefully be reduced. I felt a large amount of shame having an eating disorder, that should not be the case, and should be viewed in the same way as any mental health condition. 

If you could go back in time, what advice would you give to your past self? 

I didn’t realise the path I was on would lead to so much devastation and wasted time. I felt invincible, like the illness would never fully take over. I would tell myself to talk to someone, ANYONE. We are so fortunate at the FT to have mental health first aiders, that could have been a starting point for me. I would also tell myself that it’s not just me who has these thoughts, often you feel like no one could ever understand, but since speaking out about my struggles I can assure you that’s not the case. The sharing of experiences only proves that we all have a story to tell of trying times, you are not alone. 

You are a huge advocate of the power of sharing, so that others can feel represented and safe to share as well. Why do you think it’s important to lift the stigma and raise awareness around mental health and eating disorders within the FT and outside the workplace?

Sometimes it just takes one person to share their story to make a difference. You can only do this in an environment which feels safe, inclusive and non-judgemental. I found this safe space at the FT. I decided that any stigma I may face towards having an eating disorder would be outweighed by the impact it could have. I was lucky, I had nothing but support and empathy in sharing my story. Sharing personal stories not only helps break down stigmas, but also fosters understanding and empathy among colleagues. It's inspiring to hear that my act of vulnerability has led to a ripple effect, encouraging others to share their experiences with mental illness, or with IVF, and other topics. This kind of openness can contribute to a culture of support and compassion within the workplace, ultimately benefiting everyone involved.

Can you leave us with a moment of joy dear to you, something that gave you strength?

I was told I couldn’t have children due to prolonged anorexia. I had to come to terms with this and shared the news with my  boyfriend (now husband) very early on. By some miracle I fell pregnant and my son is now 5 years old. He is the reason I keep going, he is my inspiration, my motivation and the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The way he finds joy in every little thing is so uplifting, his happiness has changed my world.